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This
month, luvvies, we have received
a lot of letters from frustrated
listeners which have caused us great
concern.
Please remember however low and
desperate you feel, we are always
here with a sympathetic ear and
a shoulder for you to cry on.
Please do keep sending in your cries
for help as we promise to answer
every letter.
Sed
all your concer in complete privacy
to support@krispfm.com
Here
is a selection of the ones we had
the best laugh over.
Dear
Claire,
My
husband has been "staying late at
the office" and coming home smelling
of perfume just recently. I believe
he is losing interest in me. What
can I do ?
Oh
dear, Luvvy, what a prat... What
I suggest is that you surprise him
one night by laying naked on the
bed with a print out of Krisp
fm's football news set
at a jaunty angle across your legs.
The rousing passion contained in
this excellent publication is sure
to rekindle his carnal desires.
Dear
Binnorie,
I
have an excrutiatingly painful seeping
green pustule festering on the end
of my stinky winky, which has not
cleared up despite the application
of a steaming poultice and some
rusty mole-grips. I'm too embarrassed
to go to my doctor.
My,
my, my, I can almost whiff the fetid
stench of your rotting rodger from
here. You must despatch most hastily
to your nearest computer and log
on to the hilarious Krisp
fm Community and read
the first few side-splitting stories.
Whilst still convulsed with laughter,
swiftly lance your offensive organ
with the spine of the aforementioned
site.
Dear
Claire,
My
Mummy and Daddy argue a lot and
shout at each other late at night.
My Daddy has threatened to kill
my Uncle Dave if he finds him naked
on our garage roof once more this
week. I am just so worried that
Mummy and Daddy are splitting up.
Please help me.
Oh
dear luvvies. This poor child is
learning that in life there is a
price to be paid for everything,
Lust, infidelity, packet soup, oh
yes and Krisp fm T-Shirts,
which are only £9.99.
Dear
Binnorie,
My
Scoutmaster said that Krisp fm's free email service is
the work of the devil and using
it will make me go blind. Is this
true ?
Who
said that ?
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